Compatibility dating questions

The two pick at their dinner salads, staring down at the leafy mound before them. Finally, one of them tries to grease the wheels of conversation. Some people consider themselves skilled communicators because they can talk endlessly. But the ability to speak is only one part of the equation—and not the most important part. Should the relationship evolve, there will be plenty of time to get into weighty topics. When a person reveals too much too soon, it can give a false sense of intimacy. In reality, premature or exaggerated revelations are due more to boundary issues, unresolved pain, or self-centeredness than true intimacy. Maybe your first date questions will lead you to discover that this person is your soul mate—or maybe not. But still, asking what someone is looking for gives you a decent idea of whether you're in for a one-night stand or the potential for something that lasts.Don't underestimate the importance of having compatible lifestyles with the person you're potentially dating.If someone staunchly advocates that all relationships should be open, and you are a serial monogamist, then you shouldn't have to compromise what you want just because you matched with one cute person on Tinder.Keep swiping, and you'll eventually land on someone who makes sense for you.

With those thoughts in mind, now it’s time to think about specific first date questions. If not, use these and come up with others—but by all means, give some forethought to how you’d like a discussion with a new partner to unfold. Maybe you’ve got your own great first date questions, surefire winners that get the conversation rolling. What should I know about you that I’d never think to ask about? Who was your favorite schoolteacher or college professor?

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