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Like most people, I knew nothing about polyamory when I stumbled into it.

I believed the false misconceptions that surround poly life.

It's rooted in a larger ideology that's riddled with entitlement and privilege.

However, as one gay man I interviewed, Noah, said, “I also think that (white) gay men's attitudes on polyamory are shaped very heavily by our successful assimilation into mainstream culture.

I thought people use polyamory as an excuse to screw around.

Accepting polyamory as a positive force in the gay community means pushing back against the core world views of those naysayers.

But the gay community has mostly opted for assimilation, so it's not surprising that as a poly person I'm frequently viewed with suspicion."Though Noah said he hasn’t faced direct discrimination, he mentioned that a growing number of gay men refuse to date him because they think, “I am inherently unable to give them the level of intimacy that they crave or the level of commitment that they desire.” When he says he’s polyamorous, “...

I lose value in their eyes since there is no chance for me to be their One True Love.” He understands the need for boundaries and respects people for realizing polyamory or open relationships aren’t for them, but at the same time, this puts him in a very precarious position when it comes to dating.

It's worked for me, and I wish I had known poly was a viable option sooner. Still, when I even hint at the idea of not being 100 percent monogamous, guys throw more than hissy fits; they have full temper tantrums.

I'm not even saying go out and date a million people; I'm saying that if both you and he are exclusive bottoms, maybe it's worth it to consider bringing in a third. But that's enough for guys to become furious, taking their comments to every social media platform.

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